Casino Jokes

What would a casino directory be without some good jokes? Enjoy!

I'll have a jackpot with my martini please.
So a man is playing at the blackjack table, and gets into a conversation with the dealer about tipping. The player had a 13 count in his hand, and said to the dealer, “Listen, when I get bad cards it's not the dealers fault right?”

“Of course not,” agreed the dealer.

“And when I get a good hand it's not your fault either, right?”

“No, but when you go to eat at a restaurant you always tip the waiter, and he serves you food. I serve you cards, so I should also get tipped.” argued the dealer.

“Yeah,” said the player. “You're right. But the waiter gives me what I ask for, so if you want your tip, I'll take an eight!”

Wheel of Fortune
A woman went to the casino for the first time with a bunch of her friends. While her girlfriends played the slot machines, the woman thought she would look around for a new game to try. The roulette wheel looked easy enough for her, and as she was standing there looking at the wheel, she said out loud, “Oh, I have no idea what number to play.”

Suddenly a handsome young man nearby turns to her and suggests that she plays her age. Not wanting to be embarrassed the woman places her money on the number 29. When the wheel is spun the number 36 comes up. The color quickly drains from the woman’s face, and then she faints.

Smart Bets
A man walks into a butcher shop and asks the butcher, “Say, are you a gambling man?” When the butcher says yes the man then says to him, “I'll bet you $50 that you can't reach that meat hanging up on those hooks.”

“I'm not betting on that,” says the butcher.

“But I thought you were a gambling man?” says the disappointed customer.

“I am,” said the butcher, “but the steaks are too high.”